The Mark Perlberg CPA Podcast
The Mark Perlberg CPA Podcast
EP 76 - How to Overcome Failure
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Ever wondered how to transform a "no" into "not right now"? Join us as we explore the twists and turns of failure and rejection in both personal and professional arenas. By sharing my own journey from a high school social studies teacher to an accounting professional, I promise to reveal the resilience and perseverance needed to navigate life's setbacks. Learn how embracing timing, humor, and resourcefulness can open unexpected doors, even in the face of challenges that initially seem insurmountable. Through heartfelt anecdotes and lessons learned, this episode offers insights into maintaining a positive outlook and staying true to oneself, even when the odds seem stacked against you.
Get ready for a conversation that not only acknowledges the sting of rejection but also highlights the beauty of bouncing back with grace. From embarrassing encounters with former co-workers to creatively overcoming a citywide hiring freeze in New York City, you'll discover how humor and a pragmatic approach can turn adversity into opportunity. We'll explore how, much like in the classic video game Super Mario, each setback is a chance to learn and reset. Reflect on your purpose and motivations, and find out how asking the right questions can provide clarity and direction in your career journey. Whether it's finding humor in adversity or drawing on resilience, this episode is your guide to thriving despite setbacks.
Your tax savings is going to give you all your down payment back. The rest is just profit coming in. It's like you're investing in real estate for free. He was a limited partner, so there was zero risk and he really liked you. This was one of our more risk adverse clients. All right, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:I always love nerding out with experts in the world of money and finance, all right, so I'm excited to talk about this topic here because this is something I'm highly experienced in. It has nothing to do with taxes, but I probably have about as much experience in this as taxes, and this is a conversation that you could share with anyone you know is applicable to anyone you'll ever meet. And our topic of conversation today is how to deal with failure, and I have dealt with a lot of failure. I have really been kicked in the nuts by failure many times over, and this is something I'm very passionate, enthusiastic about, about our abilities to be resilient and overcome failure. In fact, when I interview people, one thing I ask is tell me about a failure, to see how people can handle adversity and challenge and overcome things when they fall flat on their face and things don't go as well as they had thought. That's the stuff that really brings out the best in you when you have the right attitude and really shapes you. And so we're going to have some fun today and I want you guys, if you're going through some failure, hopefully you'll appreciate this, and also for some of you, maybe you can revisit this conversation next time. You're feeling in the dumps today, but I'm taking a little notes here. I just had a quick thought, but I want you to let's go through some things we can think about here. I'll share some good stories about this.
Speaker 1:First thing I want you to think about here is what is no. So a lot of you folks experience this failure, but you don't realize that when you, let's say, you got rejected from a job offer or a pitch or whatever proposal you made let's talk about this rejection thing. A no doesn't always mean never. It might mean not right now. It may be it's not the right fit right at this moment. I mean, read those rejection letters and you'll often find the language shows that they went in a different direction. Maybe you were good enough and maybe they just found someone who was overqualified. Or maybe they rejected you because they're idiots. Maybe they hired someone else because they were attracted to them or that was the boss's daughter. So, and maybe maybe this no is just because that no is just not the proper timing, but maybe they'll turn around and recruit you in the future.
Speaker 1:Now I've dealt with lots of rejection because I was an untraditional accounting student. I used to be a high school teacher. In fact, my past life I say my past life because I was in such a different reality I used to be a social studies teacher for New York City and I left. I got tired of being part of that system and I went down south from New York City to go to school, get my master's in accounting, and everybody was so confused about why I would switch from teaching social studies to being a CPA, and so a lot of people just didn't see me fitting the mold. I got rejected from my first 15 job offers maybe 17. It was at least 15. And they would always say no, it wasn't. But you know the way I saw it, though, because I've been through some things and, like I said, I'm highly experienced with failures. I had many failures before and after my teaching career and before the accounting. When I saw those no's, I always realized that that didn't really mean that I wasn't good enough and that everybody else was smarter. It just meant that they weren't ready to sign me on at that time. A lot of the people that rejected me came back and tried to hire me in the future once they had a little bit experience.
Speaker 1:Here's a really great story. There was a big four accounting firm. I applied, interviewed and got rejected three times by the same firm. Fast forward about 10 years and the firm's up and running. We have all this content, we're doing these amazing things and partners a group of 15 partners ran by. One of their leaders found us and approached me and asked if I was willing to give my time to share some tax planning with them and potentially be the advisor for all these partners. And I said, wow, isn't this interesting how the tables have turned. But I didn't feel, you know, and looking back, you know I didn't really feel that great about just the energy and the way they want to construct the arrangements of how I could serve them and I was like, well, you didn't want me now and now you want me to do things under your rules, even though I'm not your employee. I don't need you. This doesn't look like a good fit. So I actually backed out and turned away the opportunity to present with them. Essentially, they wanted like two days free consultation On a weekend. I decided I was going to go to Savage Race and do this obstacle course. It wasn't really aligned with our vision. So, really, staying true to myself, it's really funny how those rejections can be misinterpreted.
Speaker 1:Don't get too down on yourself. It's not like you're not good enough, it's just not the right timing at this moment. So another thing I want you to think about here is things don't really matter as much as you think. So let's say you didn't get that seven-figure mark in your business or you have some sort of status. I think this is really applicable for you W2 folks. Let's say you were overdue for a promotion or you got fired. At the end of the day, this stuff doesn't really matter as much as you think. When you're on your deathbed, whether or not you reached manager level status doesn't freaking matter. You're still going to turn into a pile of dust. So don't over-access about these failures.
Speaker 1:Look back 50 years from now. Imagine yourself 50 years from now, if you'll live another 50 years, and think about how much this thing really matters for you in the grand scheme of things, and you'll often find it probably doesn't. So just remember, have some perspective, take a look back, think into the future. Does this really matter? Let's take some of our emotion out of this thing, right? I also want you to remember we all die. So whether or not you get that promotion, or whether or not you close on that transaction or, let's say, your business goes bankrupt, you're going to die regardless.
Speaker 1:So, at the grand scheme of things, you're only alive for a very short period of time on this earth. You've been dead for millions of years before you were born. You live a little bit and then you die. For the rest of the time, you're just a dead guy. People eventually forget. So this failure, in the grand scheme of things, whether you got rejected or you lost a key staff or you operated at a loss, whatever it is, at the end of the day it doesn't really matter that much. Well, that kind of leads me to my next point here is remember to have a sense of humor about this stuff, because at the end of the day, it's just work, it's just your business. There's so much more to your life. There's your health, there's your family, and you got to enjoy the ride, even the crappy parts. So find some sort of sense of humor in this and I'll tell you I definitely have found that having a good sense of humor through hard, tough times has been such a great tool and instrument and a survival mechanism for when things really sucked. You can always find humor and enjoyment in things, even if they are not, on the surface, very enjoyable at all.
Speaker 1:For instance, let me tell you something I got fired from my first accounting job. Imagine moving down. First I moved from New York to North Carolina and then moved all the way to Atlanta for my first job. And I got fired in less than a year. And I busted my butt to get that job and went under all this debt. Did I cry? Did I piss and moan? Absolutely not. In fact, I took the first job I could get, just to get out of the side of the house. Well, really, after I passed the CPA. And what was that job? Well, no one would really hire me for anything because I had already locked in a new position. So I needed to make money.
Speaker 1:So my first job was promoting an Italian coffee shop in the busiest street in downtown Atlanta, dressed as a gondolier with the. You know the guys who roll the gondolas in Italy with the striped shirts and the red sash around the waist and the top hat. I was in a cardboard cutout of a gondola with a background promoting Italian coffee, and you can imagine how silly of a job this is. Here's a guy with a master's accounting, cpa for $9 an hour and a free sandwich, rolling this silly gondola and talking to strangers in the street and I'll tell you what you know. First off, this was. It was nice to actually get some finally get some appreciation. These guys actually didn't want to fire me, which was nice. But also it was fun to just be silly and to shout to the crowds who wants a gelato?
Speaker 1:And just having so much fun with these people and bringing joy and laughter to everyone and laughing at my situation and just, you know, anything can be funny if you give it a chance and when you see the humor, it's kind of like when you laugh at a bully or someone's trying to be angry. You laugh. You're taking out the power and the energy that the failure is taking out from you. Find a way to laugh off your failures and just make a joke out of it. You're really just going to take all the wind, all that energy the failure is taking out of you. If you could just laugh at it. You're just going to diminish the power that it's had over you.
Speaker 1:And I was laughing at how silly and ridiculous my life was, and the laughter and the humor of it all made it somewhat enjoyable, even though I was flat broke and just got fired and racked up tons of from an accounting career that I racked up tons of debt for to begin. And you know it was fun, it was funny, you know. The only thing I would say here is it got really embarrassing is when I was doing that whole shtick and the only person that I didn't want to see started walking by, which was a former co-worker from the job I got fired at. He was like what, what happened to this guy? What kind of drug addiction is this guy overcoming? Things must have really gone downhill since he got fired. Is this guy overcoming Like things must have really gone downhill since he got fired? No, really, honestly, I have another job lined up, trust me. So it was a little bit embarrassing, but that makes the story even funnier now and I'm grateful and proud of that experience and it's also a really good story. So I think my camera guy might be laughing in the background a little bit here.
Speaker 1:So I really want you to think about you know. When things get really crappy is where is the humor in this? You're also going to find I mean, you're almost always going to find there's humor in everything. There's humor in failing. There's something is got to think about. Once you start thinking about you know, once your pragmatic, business hustler side kicks in, don't neglect the humor side of you. Think to yourself what's funny about this? Remember that this is life. You don't take it too seriously and find the humor in these situations and it'll really help you out, not only in just enjoying the general experience, but it frees you up and relax you and gives you the ability to be more resourceful, healthier and successful. All those good things that we want and that kind of leads me to another point here is just develop.
Speaker 1:I really want you guys, if going through failure, to have really master the art of having what I call the shit-eating grin. Find a way to just laugh your way through these hard times. If you got to go through something that's undesirable, find a way to just laugh your way through these hard times. If you got to go through something that's undesirable, find a way to grin and laugh and just make fun of it. Find the fun in the suffering. Really change your relationship with pain here. Be grateful for the pain and the hardness and the frustration. Really take this thing that's dragging you down and holding you back and your business is in dumps and things aren't working. Your employees aren't showing up on time. This guy stole from you All these things. First of all, they can all be funny with the right attitude, but really I want you to think about when all this stuff is going wrong in your business and things are really going under and you're up against the wall and nothing's working out the way it should be grateful for these experiences and what they can teach you. Shift your focus and, instead of feeling bad for yourself, instead of ruminating on oh why me? If you ever catch yourself, first slap yourself in the face. Never have that victimized mentality, even if you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. It's all about the way you frame this and tell yourself use this as a gift. Whatever hardship you're going through, use it as a gift to make you stronger and more resourceful and that's going to really have a benefit on your own mental well-being and also your ability to resolve problems.
Speaker 1:And I can tell you so many great stories where I was undergoing hardship, for instance, in New York City, when there was a citywide hiring. So my plan in New York City was to be a real estate agent and a teacher. I was going to sell real estate to finance being a teacher in New York City and I kind of did that in like the worst time in history. So I graduated in the winter of 2007. And in 2008, when I finally had my real estate license, the market tanked and the commissions were cut in half and there was all this calamity. But I stuck it through. And then, as soon as I got my license to teach, they had a citywide hiring freeze because the real estate was financing the teacher, the real estate was financing the schools. So I really really had some bad luck. But instead of having that victimized mentality, it really taught me, by being resourceful, how to hustle, how to be resourceful, how to find opportunities. And this may be the first instance where I realized that I was the type of person who can find and take advantage of loopholes and exceptions to the rules. It probably was a clear indicator that there were opportunities in the future.
Speaker 1:So one of the things that I did here was when there was a citywide hiring freeze. I found a loophole in the hiring freeze that if you were a new school, you were allowed to hire new teachers, because the hiring freeze excluded all new teachers. So what did I do? Instead of whining and moaning and living in my mom's basement and getting a crappy busing job, I went through the newspapers. I found lists of all the brand new schools that were allowed to hire, made an Excel doc, sent blind carbon copies, sending my resume out to all those new schools so I could be a substitute teacher and eventually get an opening into a full-time teaching role.
Speaker 1:Not only that after I did that, I realized I wanted to come at a different angle. So I sent proposals for after-school programs, started a state test prep program and a guitar program. Not only did I do that, but also I would. There was one school. This is like one of the craziest things I did to be resourceful, but I was like I'm going to apply to these schools before they even open. So I went to a gathering for schools applying to be accepted and to begin, these are future principals, and I walked in, snuck into the place and handed out my resume to all these schools before they even opened up.
Speaker 1:So this was my way of thinking outside of the box and, instead of calling it quits and saying poor me finding loopholes into the system and being resourceful, if you get stopped by one failure and going the traditional path doesn't work, keep on resolving and finding ways and brainstorming and looking for alternative measures until you can get to where you go. So really having that attitude of being pragmatic here but also not just following, when, the typical path and that you see that failure, look at what else you can do and how far can you take these things before you call it quits, and you'd be amazed by it. Just by being open-minded and having the right attitude how many amazing ideas are right here in your head. Just by using your own facilities and having the right attitude, you're going to come up and really tap into your own brilliance. Okay, now let's talk about another way that we can. Just a psychological tool we could use here to look at our failures is, I really think, a good model, a good metaphor for you going through failures, especially if you're in sales or an area where you've got to deal with continuous rejections and trying and trying and trying is really look at this like a video game.
Speaker 1:Imagine you're playing a video game. You know Dr Mario, you know Super Mario. He falls into the cliff and what happens? You just start the level over again. When you start the level over again in Super Mario, it's not like he's hobbling. When you start the game all over again, he's the same Mario, same shape, looks exactly the same. And then this time he makes it over that jump and then maybe he gets to some other guy and maybe he doesn't quite make it through, but he's smarter this time around and he's gotten a little bit further. And you've developed, you've recognized some patterns and you're ready to overcome and take this level a little further.
Speaker 1:And maybe you get knocked down again by the big boss and then you start again and so really having that attitude of every time you gotta start again and you fail, not really looking at this as some sort of permanent sort of destiny, like oh I suck, I'll never be good at this, but really thinking to yourself OK, let's start, let's come at this at a different angle, we're going to be smarter next time around. What can we learn from this? And really think about not really taking the pain of the failure into the next go-around, just like how Mario doesn't hobble because in the last time he gave the level, he fell down on a cliff or got hit in the head with a turtle shell. So another thing I want you to think about here is really again just being pragmatic and not being emotional in how you handle these things. And as you're going through all this and you're really striving to do this here, I want you guys to ask yourself you know, what is my purpose and why am I doing this? Because I think about this.
Speaker 1:When I think about some of my shortcomings in my career, about this. When I think about some of my shortcomings in my career, you know, when I wasn't doing so hot as an auditor, or maybe when I was not really doing so great at selling real estate that I wasn't very interested in, I thought to myself you know I didn't really have. You know, sometimes you're going to find when you ask yourself, why am I doing this, you might have multiple answers in your head. Sometimes you're saying, why am I doing this? And it's going to be in the tone of why am I doing this? No-transcript.